National Infertility Awareness Week #flipthescript

As you might have guessed by all the infertility/child-free themed posts leading up to this one, April is dedicated to infertility awareness and this week in particular - April 23rd thru April 28th - is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association chooses a theme each year and for 2018, they settled on Flip the Script. I've heard the phrase before but I never really understood what it meant. I just thought it was another trendy business buzzword, like "disrupters" or "next level." Since I can't write about something I'm unfamiliar with, I decided to Google the definition. This is what I found-

"flip the script - reverse the usual or existing position in a situation, do something unexpected or revolutionary"

I wouldn't consider myself average but I am by no means revolutionary. I follow the rules most of the time and only speak up when I feel it is a good time to do so. What can I do to spread infertility awareness that is unexpected and reactionary? Still at a loss for how I can contribute to NIAW, I looked to RESOLVE's website for more guidance. They describe the theme below -

Anyone can be challenged to have a family. No matter what race, religion, sexuality or economic status you are, infertility doesn’t discriminate.
Because you’ll never know how badly you want something until you are told that it may not be possible.Together, we can change how others view infertility. It begins with being part of a national movement, National Infertility Awareness Week®. This week unites millions of Americans who want to remove the stigmas and barriers that stand in the way of building families.

Well, that I can do! I have been championing to normalize infertility, endometriosis and their repercussions since I first started this blog. Frankly, I don't think you need to "flip the script" in order to do so. One in every eight couples suffer with infertility. That is a lot of couples! So is it that weird to talk about it? The only way to change how others view infertility is to discuss the topic in regular conversation.  Like I mentioned earlier, I am no trouble making rabble-rouser but if someone approaches me with the topic of my family, I will openly speak about my infertility and decision to only have dogs. I understand that the conversation may be awkward and difficult at first but the more you open up, the easier it becomes. I've also noticed that the more I've talked about it, the more other people joined in. I was once getting a drink at a local cafe. There were young girls running around and laughing. The woman behind the counter told me she wished she had daughters. I replied that, yes, those girls were certainly cute ... but also a little rowdy. She asked if I had any children and I told her that I was unable to conceive so I will not be adding any children to my family. She then opened up her miscarriage. And just like that, we were two women sharing our experiences in normal conversation. I am aware that not all of my conversations go that smoothly. At the last company holiday party, a coworker told me that I would not be able to have a "real Christmas" due to my lack of children. So, you win some and you lose some but I think we are all allowed to talk about our families regardless of their size or how they came to be. If you fostered or adopted your children, please tell me about it because you are a saint and I'd love to hear about your journey. If you're struggling to conceive, let me know and we can weep together. And if you've chosen to live without children, then cheers to you and lets hang out! 

#saythefword

No, no, no you guys... not that f word. LOL Earlier this year, I came across this hashtag #SaytheFword. Then after some research, I came across this article (https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/health-fitness/company-encouraging-women-to-say-f-word-fertility/) and this website (https://saythefword.com/).  The mission of the campaign is encourage women to talk about their bodies and reproductive health. According to the data presented by website above, studies show that an overwhelming number of women do not talk about their fertility. Plenty of women think about it and have experiences relating to it but not very many talk about it. Not even to their doctors. Not even to their partners and close family members.

WHAT??!!?!  o_O  That is preposterous.

Why have we, as a society, made the subject so embarrassing and taboo?  It shouldn't be and that is why I have chosen to use my blog to promote this movement. I don't often use my blog as a social platform so please bear with me. (We'll get back to fun travel posts, craft shows and DIY projects very soon.) If you have a minute, please visit https://saythefword.com/ and take the pledge. It'll ask you a few simple questions and best of all, after completing the survey, you can choose a non-profit for the website to donate to. I chose the Endometriosis Foundation of America (your other options are Planned Parenthood, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association or Women's March).

I have taken the pledge to break the silence. I believe women need to be empowered--not ashamed--to talk about their fertility and any challenges, questions and/or decisions they make concerning it. This year, women's studies, women's rights and women's movements have become extremely prevalent and for good reason. It is time for women to be recognized and honored. Feminist is no longer a forbidden word and fertility shouldn't be either.

If any of you guys share my blogs, please use the hashtag #SaytheFword.

Erica needs a good infertility podcast.

I live on podcasts; they are what get me though my 9-hour work day. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job, truly, but I'm an auditor for an insurance company... I need something to entertain me throughout the day. I listen to a wide range of podcasts but what I'm missing is a good infertility podcast. Before we all start throwing out suggestions, let me clarify what I mean by "good." All of the infertility podcasts I've come across are either spiritual and Christian-based or self-help guides. That is not what I am looking for. I have traveled through my infertility journey and I have fully accepted a child-free lifestyle. I don't need to listen to a podcast about hope, or prayer, or how to grieve and heal. I want a podcast about moving on and living your best life despite the daily challenges of infertility. I have come across several bloggers and internet "celebrities" who write on this subject but none of them do audio.

The closest thing that I have found that meets my "good" criteria is the How Did We Get Here Podcast (https://www.howdidwegetherepodcast.com/). I was really excited about this podcast when I first stumbled upon it. It is hosted by a married couple who went through infertility treatment but it didn't work out. They now are committed to living happily ever after as a child-free couple. In my opinion, the wife, who goes by M, is not fully ready to give up her dream of motherhood. But, the husband, who goes by E, is ready to embrace their family of two. Since they are not on the same page, a lot of the conversation sounds like a polite argument where the wife is about to break down sobbing at any moment and the husband is thoroughly frustrated.

I found the first few episodes humorous, like a bad sitcom. I imagine the wife trying to speak privately to her husband about her feelings but getting nowhere with the communication. As her last attempt, she says to him, "Honey, lets produce an infertility podcast. It'll be a great way for us to bond and share our story." The husband doesn't want to do this but he reluctantly agrees because he also doesn't want to sleep alone in the guestroom. Once the podcast starts, the wife lets her feelings flow freely and forces her husband into uncomfortable situations where he has to talk about things he'd rather keep private. And the podcast continues on like this for about an hour. The final product is extremely awkward. I only made it through the first 7 or 8 episodes before I had to unsubscribe.

Although the podcast was not for me, I loudly applaud M for being so brave. I do not know many couples who will openly air their grievances to the world, especially when it comes to a topic as personal as infertility. I, too, had many troubles talking to my husband about infertility and how it affected me. I went through my depression alone. If I was as brave as M, I would have forced Wes to listen to me, talk to me and console me. On one of their first episodes, they asked the child-free community to email them stories of how they are living their lives. This is the email I sent:

Hello, E & M!
     My name is Erica and I stumbled upon your podcast a few months ago. In one of your first episodes, you asked for emails from the child-free community. So howdy, here I am... all the way form Oklahoma! I have severe endometriosis that has rendered me infertile. From the beginning, my husband and I decided not to pursue treatment. Instead, I decided to be a local maker, girl boss and sewist extraordinaire. I own RagsReborn Gifts and travel throughout the state participating in various craft shows. Please check out my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/RagsRebornGifts).
       I relate fully to the name of my small business. I was a "rag" - a discarded and worthless woman who is unable to procreate. I wasn't even a real women in many of my coworkers', peers' and complete strangers' eyes. After wallowing in my own personal pity party, I decided that was not the life I wanted to live. It is completely possible to cultivate a wonderful life without children. I've always enjoyed arts 'n crafts but I decided to take it to another level. I slowly taught myself how to sew and started selling my wares. I sew pillows, stuffed animals, tote bags and an entire arrange of home decor items from gently used clothing and old fabrics (usually donated). Not only am I giving the fabrics new life, but by doing this, I was also "reborn." So there is it -- RagsReborn!  
     I hate to tell you this but I no longer listen to your podcast. After the first few episodes, I noticed a strange disconnect between E's opinion (ready and willing to embrace a child-free marriage) and M's opinion (fiercely holding on to the dream of motherhood). I found this clash awkward and uncomfortable. With that said, I also want to congratulate you on your honesty and extreme bravery. I know we are conditioned to not speak about infertility. I openly speak about my journey when people ask about RagsReborn and I am glad to know that I am not the only one who is breaking free from the infertility stigma. I wish you many years of love, light and laughter. 
       Keep on doing what you do!
            ~Erica
                RagsReborn Gifts

I'm not sure how I veered off into self promotion and podcast critiquing but I guess that's where this blog post ended up. I sent the email several weeks ago but have not heard a response. I guess they have too much other fan mail to sift through. Anyway, back to my original request -- if you know of any infertility podcasts worth listening to, please send them my way!

National Infertility Awareness Week 2017

Hello, all! *insert waving emoji here* It's National Infertility Awareness Week 2017!! The theme assigned for this year is LISTEN UP!. I'm not sure what direction Resolve is wanting to go with this theme but for me, I'd like to use it as a platform to dispel some common misconceptions regarding infertiles. Of course I cannot speak for all childfree women but I believe these are some universal truths that need to be told.

[Quick disclaimer: 99.92% of my friends, family, coworkers and acquaintances have children and I am NOT trying to tell you that your thinking is wrong nor am I meaning to offend anyone. I just want to share my opinion on some popular (mis)conceptions.]

Not my drawing... just saw it on the Internet and thought it was cute.

MYTH #1- Erica a "bitter infertile".
I can completely understand why the entire world would think this. Every movie, book, television show, etc. that touches on the topic of infertility paints the image of a woman who is always crying or angry or just crazy in general. If all you see is negative, I don't blame you for pegging me as a certain characteristic.
       Just as I was typing the above paragraph, I thought of two examples (without even really having to think too hard); on the television series, Once Upon A Time, Regina, the evil queen cannot have children but Snow White and Prince Charming have Emma and baby Neil. In the novel, What Alice Forgot, the infertile sister, Elizabeth, is depressed throughout over half of the book and she even attempts to kidnap a young child.

Okay, okay...some of what is shown in popular culture is true. We infertiles get sad (just like everyone else). We also occasionally get angry at our bodies for not functioning as they should. And at times, we feel a little less feminine and maybe even a little ashamed. But I can promise you that I am not evil or depressed and my life is NOT a constant longing for a baby.

• I do not lust after other women's pregnant stomachs. I do not want to bring them any harm or ill wishes. 
• I do not want to steal away other people's babies to raise as my own. 
• I am not weeping at every baby shower I attend, nor do I cry during pregnancy announcements. 
• I am not jealous of my friends and coworkers who have children. I do not "unfriend" people who post pictures of their happy families.

Another infertility character that the media shows is the woman who is "too career oriented". This woman is cold and unattached; she cannot have time for children or any meaningful personal relationship because she is married to her job. Her success in the business world has lead her to live the life of a spinster. I believe that stereotype is also incorrect. I am a small business owner. Yes, RagsReborn is very important to me but I also have friends & family. I am capable of caring and nurturing. If I were to get pregnant, I would gladly take on both raising a child and growing my small business.

So, no, I am not a bitter infertile. I am actually quite supportive of my childbearing friends; I have sewn baby shower and baby's first birthday items for each one of them. I am happy to join in conversations regarding my coworker's children. I love to hug and coo at small children just as much as the next person.

MYTH #2- Erica doesn't know what love is.
If I could get a quarter for every time I heard the phrase "I didn't know what love was until I had a child" I would be FILTHY RICH. Why do people feel the need to tell me that? I honestly do not even understand what that phrase even means. If it was true that you could not grasp the concept of love until you conceived a child, does that mean that you never felt the love of your parents as you were growing up? Did you never experience the thrill of young love as a teenager? Did you not love your husband or wife until the day they got pregnant? This is absurd.

Speaking of absurd...when I confess that I cannot have children, most people assume that I live an empty life. They picture me driving home to a dark and undecorated house where I binge watch CSI: Miami and eat canned beans for dinner. For those of you who have thought that about me, please stop worrying... I live a very fulfilled life. My apartment is lively and decorated; I have found many hobbies that bring me joy (one of which is cooking, so no gross canned beans for me!) and I have two lovely dogs and a wonderful husband. I do not need children to fill my life with love and happiness; I have found other things that bring me just as much contentment.

Another thing that people question is what will happen to me in my old age without children. They assume that I will live the last decades of my life as an old curmudgeon with no one to care for me. That is also untrue. I am actively taking care of my health now so that I am able to prosper in my old age. I am also investing for my retirement. I plan on being fully independent in my later years so I do not become a burden on anyone.

MYTH #3- Erica wants children.
Sure there was a time when I wanted to be a mother and if I had a miracle pregnancy, I would fully embrace it. But the truth is that I do not want children. (!!!) My infertility journey started out as being childfree-not-by-choice but I have come to accept and embrace my now childfree life. There are many women and couples who are choosing to not bring children into the world. More and more adults are owning pets or becoming entrepreneurs or travelling the world. Even as this is happening around us, childfree discrimination still exists. I get strange looks when I openly discuss my infertility, other women do not invite me to their social gatherings because I am not part of the "mommy club," and I am expected to endure longer hours at work because I do not have a family to get home to. Lets all take a quick minute to become more aware of this discrimination so that we may all act differently next time we meet a happily childfree woman.

So there are my two cents for this year's Infertility Awareness Week topic. Thanks for listening (reading); it means the world to me! If you want some more reading, might I suggest these blogs (and this list, too, if you really want some more reading!)-

Life Without Baby (http://lifewithoutbaby.com/blog/) is written by several different women, all of which are all insightful and honest. They have a weekly "Whiney Wednesday" post that addresses some of the issues that I just wrote about.

Waiting for Baby Bird (https://waitingforbabybird.com/) is a faith based infertility blog. As a fair warning, let me tell you that it is written with an extremely Christian perspective. I am not religious but I have read several of Elisha's posts and found hope in them. I also appreciate the rawness in her writing.

I just made my annual donation. If you are wanting to donate to a charity, might I suggest Resolve?

Infertility Awareness Week

It's Infertility Awareness Week again! Resolve has a great Infertilty Awareness Week line up. Although I would love to participate in the conferences, support groups and 5k walks, none of those events are happening in Oklahoma. (sad face) But, I have read all the articles and watched the videos. To do my part in spreading advocacy, I will once again write about my infertility journey.

The theme for this year's awareness week is to start the discussion. Infertility remains such a taboo topic. There are tons of women out there who feel embarrassed and ashamed when they're asked when they'll finally start a family and have kids. But why? Infertility affects at least one in eight women of childbearing age. It's a normal thing.
       I, for one, am not ashamed. If you're unlucky enough to ask me when I plan on having kids, I won't dance around the topic. I will tell you that I have severe endometriosis and it has damaged my reproductive organs so I am now infertile. You will either 1. feel horribly uncomfortable and walk away or 2. continue talking to me ...
      We can talk about how you read in a magazine that Chrissy Teigen had an IVF.
      We can talk about your friend or cousin or coworker who also struggled with getting pregnant.
      I can explain what endometriosis is and you can say that you read Lena Dunham's tweets.
      You can empathize.
      You can learn.
      You can realize that infertility is a real thing and now you know someone who has this issue with their health.
      It's no longer a foreign & strange disease.  

I want this on a t-shirt but I can't find it online or on Etsy. Anyone know a screen printer who can put this on a shirt for me?

Besides just blogging about infertility and endometriosis, I want to actually do something for Infertility Awareness Week this year.
       I have a craft show this weekend. I will be at The Handmade Show at The Crown Center on Saturday April 30th. I need to sell ten pillows per show in order to make back my costs and labor. Any more pillows that I sell, it's just profit. At my show this weekend, I will double any profit and donate an equal amount to Resolve and The Endometriosis Foundation. So, hypothetically, if I sell fifteen pillows, I get $50 profit... I will donate $50 to Resolve and $50 to The Endometriosis Foundation. Please, please, please come out to The Crown Center to support not only RagsReborn but also help me donate some money to a good cause.

Did you know that March was Endometriosis Awareness Month? Nah, probably not. Don't feel bad because I didn't either, and I have the damn disease! Padma Lakshmi, created the Endometriosis Foundation of America (http://www.endofound.org/).

I have suffered with endometriosis since my first period back in high school. Everyone who is diagnosed experiences it differently, but for me, endometriosis causes debilitating pain during my menstrual cycle. My flow is also extremely heavy and longer than the 3-5 days average. Gross, I know. Here's a pretty good article about the disease: http://www.refinery29.com/endometriosis-symptoms-surgery-period-pain. Luckily for me, both my primary care physician and OB-GYN recognized the symptoms and I wasn't treated like the poor woman who authored the article.

So, "what is this odd disease?" you ask. Tissue that is supposed to grow within the uterus grows outside of it and pretty much anywhere else it feels like growing. I have growth all along my Fallopian tubes (which are completely damaged and that is the primary reason why I cannot get pregnant) and my left ovary is literally covered in the stuff. I've had surgery to remove some of the tissue but there is no cure. It will continue to grow and grow. The only thing I can do is to just manage the pain. Don't tell anyone but I am probably addicted to Motrin and Naproxen.

It's taken me thirty years, but I've finally "found myself." If I had to make a family crest, here it is:

I am a PROUD rescue pet parent.

I have endometriosis and am UNASHAMED.

I am a HARDWORKING small business owner.

My three passions in life are pet rescue & adoption, infertility & endometriosis awareness and acceptance and RagsReborn Gifts.

Thanks so much for reading this blog. Thank you for listening to me rant about a health issue that is often overlooked. And, please, please, please come out to The Crown Center to support not only RagsReborn but also help me donate some money to a good cause.

Erica wants to talk Endometriosis & Mini Chicken Potpies.

It'll be half depressing (endometriosis ;_; ) and half awesome (chicken potpies!!)...I'm being so generous in giving you the best of both worlds. Yeah, thank me the next time we hang out.

I saw this on a friend's Facebook and had to steal it. Literally my life every time.

I have the best gyno ever. This is how much I like her:

       I first went to Dr. Newcomb in my early twenties. She discovered my health abnormalities and she was the one to prescribe me wonderful pain medicine. She was at Deaconess but moved to the super ghetto south side about 2 or 3 years after I first starting going to her. I was devastated but I decided to stick with Deaconess and started seeing one of the other doctors there. I was not a fan of my new OB/GYN so I went running back to Dr. Newcomb. 

       As mentioned earlier, Dr. Newcomb now practices in a very run-down and seedy part of town. At my first appointment, she greeted me with, "Welcome back, gurl, I moved to the hooood!" (Yes, this lady has a sense of humor.) Anyway, I do not fit in with her clientele whatsoever and walking into her waiting room brings fits of panic and raging shame, embarrassment & depression. Everyone in her waiting room is women ranging from ages 14 - 40 visibly pregnant and pregnant by mistake. The women are either there alone with looks of both fear and hope on their face or they're there with their boyfriends, who have looks of regret and 'pissed off that the condom broke' on their face. Seriously, no one is just there for their annual well-woman exam. I walk in with a neon sign above my head screaming "INFERTILE!!" They all look at me funny (How come she's not pregnant? Is she just not showing, yet? Where's her baby daddy?) and the staff (who has seen my charts and knows of my medical condition) treat me differently... a bad kind of differently. It's a grueling 20-minute wait but eventually, I get to see Dr. Newcomb and everything is well again. I have to really like a doctor to subject myself to such torture in the waiting room. And I do; I love Dr. Newcomb. She's patient and kind and will answer all of my absurd questions. 

       So, back to my update... A few weeks ago, I went in for the follow-up to my endometriosis surgery (if you want to see pictures of what severe endometriosis looks like, let me know. I have gory detailed pictures of my uterus and ovaries. I won't post them here just in case you weren't planning on vomiting tonight.) Dr. Newcomb first asked if I wanted to see a fertility specialist to get pregnant. No. Okay, moving on... she said the surgery would buy me some time but eventually, I'll need to get on birth control. NOOO!!! I hate birth control. She said I have anywhere between six weeks to six months before the lesions start growing again. They flare up every time I have a period so it would be best if I just stopped having periods. AKA birth control or if I am completely 100% against birth control, I can just get surgery every few years to remove the endometriosis lesions. That's a no for my checkbook. So, I'm stuck. I don't want to be in immense pain & I don't want to have surgery every five years but I've done birth control before and it made me hate my life in so many other ways. Dr. Newcomb assured me that both medicine and my body have come a long way since the first time I was on birth control and there will be one that suites me. But for now, I will wait out my six weeks and see her in September, and in the meantime, she offered me a much stronger pain medicine for my menses. If you're wondering, the answer is no, I am not addicted to pain medicine. Dr. Newcomb actually told me that it's astonishing how much pain I can handle. She said that there are women with only one third as severe endometriosis as I have and they act like they're dying. I should be acting like I'm dying but I just pop some pills and move on with life. She said I was one tough cookie. Haha!

       Oh and eventually (maybe 10 -15 years from now), I'll be getting a hysterectomy. Yay me, ain't my life great?  The next time you feel like complaining about being pregnant or complaining about your children, just think... you could be me. Yeah, that will shut your complaining up pretty damn quickly. 

That was the 'Woe is me'/angry/depressing/'I hate my life' part of this blog post. Now to the happy part... another recipe!!

This is the easiest recipe and all of the ingredients are pre-made. I usually use fresh ingredients but sometimes I get lazy after work and just want something simple. And I hate working with raw meat, especially slimy chicken. We'll be sauteing and baking so, really, you can say this is a "real cooking" recipe. Right? Aw hell, I don't need to defend myself... I'm using frozen veggies and canned chicken but in the end these chicken potpies look and taste so good!! One quick disclaimer, though... I originally got this recipe off a Campbell's soup can so I can't technically call it mine. But I did add some extra steps & ingredients to it to give it my own variation. Here goes:

Mini chicken potpies-

       Ingredients needed: frozen mixed vegetables, dried parsley & basil, pepper, green onions, flax seed, butter spray, cream of chicken soup, canned chicken, flaky biscuits (it's imperative that you use the flaky ones), muffin pan

1. Saute the chicken and green onions.

2. Add the pepper, parsley & basil and continue to cook until the chicken is browned.

Sorry for the blurry picture... it was hot. I blame the steam. LOL

3. Mix in a large bowl (damn, forgot to add 'large bowl' to my ingredient picture) - chicken mixture, mixed vegetables, cream of chicken & flax seed.  I don't know how much flax seed or vegetables. It changes every time I make it. I would probably use one and a half cup vegetables and a small handful of seeds. Unless you hate veggies & seeds...then use less. Then set mixture aside.

4. Get your muffin pans and your spray butter. Spray the heck out of those muffin pans! Also, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. 

5. Open up your biscuits and line the muffin pan with them.

       Do this by pulling apart the biscuits. This is why you want to buy the flaky ones. This recipe makes twelve chicken potpies and each muffin needs to be torn into three pieces. 

You'll have left over biscuits after you finish lining the pans, which is what you want. We'll need the rest of the biscuits later. 

6. Spoon the chicken/cream of chicken/veggie mixture into each of the biscuit-lined muffin slots.

7. Using the leftover biscuits, cover the tops of the potpies. Tear the biscuits into individual pieces/layers like in step #5. If you don't want to do this, I suppose you can just buy more than one tube of biscuits. I've never thought of that before...

8. Bake at 350 degrees for half an hour. The biscuits should be nice n' brown and the insides bubbly n' hot. You can use a large spoon to get these out of the muffin pans. Since we used so much butter spray, the potpies should come right out. 

Serve while they're still warm. I took what felt like so many pictures as I was making these. But it's still only 8 steps. I'm still doing good on my 'no more than 10 steps' rule. Yay \(^.^)/ Sorry, for the pre-recipe lady rant, if it offended you in any way. That wasn't my intent.  Just had to keep it real. LOL I swear I don't talk like this in real life. 

       

Musings from the recliner...

This isn't meant to be a bitter or angry blog post... I am married and know tons of married and pregnant friends...I just saw this and had to laugh. 

I am home bound for the next couple of days and the couch has become my new favorite piece of furniture. Sounds relaxing (and it was at first) but I've already been cooped up at home for 3 days recovering from my womanly surgery. I am ready to be in any other position besides sitting and laying down. But alas, I cannot move about until Wednesday...doctor's orders.
       In the meantime, I have...
 1. learned how to play Grand Theft Auto V (which I am not good at);
    2. made jewelry--blog post on that to come soon;
 3. mastered the phone game "Cookie Run";
      4. written to old friends (but I can't mail any of the letters I wrote since I can't physically make the journey to the post office);
 5. finished my book for book club;
      6. and taken way too many pictures of Sadie.

Sadie is giving me healing cuddles.

Today, I decided that I should do something useful, so now I am blogging. But what to blog about? Being stuck at home makes one (or at least, me) depressed. I don't want to blog about my depressing shit so I started thinking about my friends and family and their hobbies and added the two up to discover how many future movers and shakers I know (and am related to).

But before I get to that, I guess I can talk about my surgery for a bit. Everyone loved my infertility blog post so here's a "part 2" follow up.
        (P.S. I find it a tad bit amusing that no one gives a flying flip about my DIY crafts, recipes or RagsReborn posts but as soon as I share something personal and painful, I'm an instant sensation. Crazy how the world works, huh?) 
Anyway, a  couple of weeks ago, my OB/GYN decided that it was time to remove the cysts from my left ovary because they are getting too big. (x_x) So this past Friday morning, Wes and I went to surgery. I was completely knocked out but my doctor told Wes the results:

• My OB/GYN said that she didn't have to remove the cysts after all (which is so weird to me because that was the main reason why I went in... we'll need to talk about that during my post-op appointment...) They weren't as big or bad as she initially thought. 
• Instead she removed some bad endometriosis lesions. I've always suspected mild to severe endometriosis and the diagnostic laproscopy confirmed my hunches. 
• She also said she understands why I am always complaining about painful periods (so yeah, it's not just me being a wimp!!!) and I am pretty much 100% infertile.  C'mon, like, duh, what else is new? 
• Anyway, she wants me to either get on birth control or get a shot that mimics menopause. Pretty much my body needs to stop my reproductive system from performing its functions because it's all out of whack. I've been on birth control briefly many many moons ago and I absolutely hated it. I pretty much experienced every side effect and it was bad. Not sure which I should choose. I could choose neither and continue on with super painful cramps and abdominal discomfort; I've lived with that for this long, suppose I don't need to change anything now. Hmmm...decisions, decisions...I guess I have a few weeks to think about it...

So there's that. : /  I have been told that I cannot perform the most basic of female functions... I cannot reproduce. That's the essential reason why both males and females were put on this earth, right? To procreate. And now, I literally 100% medically proven cannot.  That is some heavy news I've just been dealt.
       Luckily, Wes fell in love young and had a child earlier in life. At least his genes will live on. As for me and my family tree, well, its DEAD. I have no siblings. I will never be an aunt, my mom will never be a grandmother and I will never be a mother. It sucks. But what do you do? Wes doesn't want to adopt and we're both against scientific intervention in the baby making department. So we accept this blow and move on.

Back to non-depressing blog topics...
       I studied business in college and always wanted to start one of my own. I started RagsReborn last year (admittedly a little late in life but I've always been a late bloomer). My business venture is coming along rather nicely. I can talk about it all day but I want to talk about some other people who are working toward self-made fame. I know so many:
        my cousin, Jan, is the future of the kuk sool won school of martial arts; 
      another cousin of mine, young lil cutie Michelle, is going to win So You Think You Can Dance as soon as she turns 18;
      one of my besties, Michelle (must be a popular name), is going to get famous from making jewelry. And I own one of her first pieces.

Instead of listing out everyone I know, I settled on a top three list.

EMMA-
aka LittleBennet.  My cousin's wife, Emma, is an award nominated blogger. Her blog http://littlebennet.com/ is a wonderful read. She travels, has DIY projects, fashion advice and amazing photography.  Basically, it's what I want my blog to become when it grows up. LOL

My favorites of her posts are the ones about travel. (I love to travel and don't do enough of it.) Another one of my cousins, Winnie, got married in Norway this past spring. Emma and her husband, Kent, took an amazing trip all over Europe. They hit 7 cities in about a month. They did everything from hiking in Iceland to afternoon tea in London. I followed her blog & Instagram religiously and became more and more envious of her pictures, especially the ones about food.

LACEY-
I've known this lady for decades (yes, I can say decades--plural--because I met her in junior high school and we're both 30 now!). Lacey has always been artsy and creative. Now she makes soap. I'm trying to convince her to jump into the world of Etsy and craft shows with me.

Here's her men's line that she made for Wes last Christmas. The mustache soap is for shaving.

She started out by making her own scents and color to add to pre-made soap. She made this apricot scent that smells sooooo good! I got so many samples but I used them all before I thought to take any pictures. They're really pretty--she used pastels and glitter and formed some really neat patterns. There was a swirly purple & white one and a pink, yellow and white plaid one that were my two favorites. Oh, she also has this gardenia scent that also smells really good.

She's branched out to making lip balm and bath bombs, too. Her newest venture is curing her own soap...like from scratch using lye and stuff. She is on vacation now, but says she has a batch at home that will be ready for me when she returns. 

TREVOR-

aka lightningshinobi.  My cousin Trevor draws & writes manga. I'm not too into the anime culture so I can't be a fair judge (and I'm biased toward his work) but what I've seen of his stuff is pretty good. He started with one boy character a few years ago and has really developed him and given him a good story arc and some interesting compadres. I visit Trevor annually and he is always happy to show me his newest drawings. He's come a long way in the few years he's been doing it. Here's is DeviantArt account: http://lightningshinobi.deviantart.com/

I know this blog is kinda all over the place but 1. I just had surgery two days ago and I'm still letting the results sink in...its a lot to fully comprehend and accept; 2. Sadie is distracting me with her cuddly cuteness and 3. I'm watching Wes play Grand Theft Auto V. I started blogging with this grand idea of highlighting all the future small business owners and entertainers I know and I don't think I organized it very well. It was mostly just a ploy to get myself to be not so depressed. Anyway, its time for lunch and then another nap...