I live on podcasts; they are what get me though my 9-hour work day. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job, truly, but I'm an auditor for an insurance company... I need something to entertain me throughout the day. I listen to a wide range of podcasts but what I'm missing is a good infertility podcast. Before we all start throwing out suggestions, let me clarify what I mean by "good." All of the infertility podcasts I've come across are either spiritual and Christian-based or self-help guides. That is not what I am looking for. I have traveled through my infertility journey and I have fully accepted a child-free lifestyle. I don't need to listen to a podcast about hope, or prayer, or how to grieve and heal. I want a podcast about moving on and living your best life despite the daily challenges of infertility. I have come across several bloggers and internet "celebrities" who write on this subject but none of them do audio.
The closest thing that I have found that meets my "good" criteria is the How Did We Get Here Podcast (https://www.howdidwegetherepodcast.com/). I was really excited about this podcast when I first stumbled upon it. It is hosted by a married couple who went through infertility treatment but it didn't work out. They now are committed to living happily ever after as a child-free couple. In my opinion, the wife, who goes by M, is not fully ready to give up her dream of motherhood. But, the husband, who goes by E, is ready to embrace their family of two. Since they are not on the same page, a lot of the conversation sounds like a polite argument where the wife is about to break down sobbing at any moment and the husband is thoroughly frustrated.
I found the first few episodes humorous, like a bad sitcom. I imagine the wife trying to speak privately to her husband about her feelings but getting nowhere with the communication. As her last attempt, she says to him, "Honey, lets produce an infertility podcast. It'll be a great way for us to bond and share our story." The husband doesn't want to do this but he reluctantly agrees because he also doesn't want to sleep alone in the guestroom. Once the podcast starts, the wife lets her feelings flow freely and forces her husband into uncomfortable situations where he has to talk about things he'd rather keep private. And the podcast continues on like this for about an hour. The final product is extremely awkward. I only made it through the first 7 or 8 episodes before I had to unsubscribe.
Although the podcast was not for me, I loudly applaud M for being so brave. I do not know many couples who will openly air their grievances to the world, especially when it comes to a topic as personal as infertility. I, too, had many troubles talking to my husband about infertility and how it affected me. I went through my depression alone. If I was as brave as M, I would have forced Wes to listen to me, talk to me and console me. On one of their first episodes, they asked the child-free community to email them stories of how they are living their lives. This is the email I sent:
Hello, E & M!
My name is Erica and I stumbled upon your podcast a few months ago. In one of your first episodes, you asked for emails from the child-free community. So howdy, here I am... all the way form Oklahoma! I have severe endometriosis that has rendered me infertile. From the beginning, my husband and I decided not to pursue treatment. Instead, I decided to be a local maker, girl boss and sewist extraordinaire. I own RagsReborn Gifts and travel throughout the state participating in various craft shows. Please check out my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/RagsRebornGifts).
I relate fully to the name of my small business. I was a "rag" - a discarded and worthless woman who is unable to procreate. I wasn't even a real women in many of my coworkers', peers' and complete strangers' eyes. After wallowing in my own personal pity party, I decided that was not the life I wanted to live. It is completely possible to cultivate a wonderful life without children. I've always enjoyed arts 'n crafts but I decided to take it to another level. I slowly taught myself how to sew and started selling my wares. I sew pillows, stuffed animals, tote bags and an entire arrange of home decor items from gently used clothing and old fabrics (usually donated). Not only am I giving the fabrics new life, but by doing this, I was also "reborn." So there is it -- RagsReborn!
I hate to tell you this but I no longer listen to your podcast. After the first few episodes, I noticed a strange disconnect between E's opinion (ready and willing to embrace a child-free marriage) and M's opinion (fiercely holding on to the dream of motherhood). I found this clash awkward and uncomfortable. With that said, I also want to congratulate you on your honesty and extreme bravery. I know we are conditioned to not speak about infertility. I openly speak about my journey when people ask about RagsReborn and I am glad to know that I am not the only one who is breaking free from the infertility stigma. I wish you many years of love, light and laughter.
Keep on doing what you do!
~Erica
RagsReborn Gifts
I'm not sure how I veered off into self promotion and podcast critiquing but I guess that's where this blog post ended up. I sent the email several weeks ago but have not heard a response. I guess they have too much other fan mail to sift through. Anyway, back to my original request -- if you know of any infertility podcasts worth listening to, please send them my way!
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