National Infertility Awareness Week 2017

Hello, all! *insert waving emoji here* It's National Infertility Awareness Week 2017!! The theme assigned for this year is LISTEN UP!. I'm not sure what direction Resolve is wanting to go with this theme but for me, I'd like to use it as a platform to dispel some common misconceptions regarding infertiles. Of course I cannot speak for all childfree women but I believe these are some universal truths that need to be told.

[Quick disclaimer: 99.92% of my friends, family, coworkers and acquaintances have children and I am NOT trying to tell you that your thinking is wrong nor am I meaning to offend anyone. I just want to share my opinion on some popular (mis)conceptions.]

Not my drawing... just saw it on the Internet and thought it was cute.

MYTH #1- Erica a "bitter infertile".
I can completely understand why the entire world would think this. Every movie, book, television show, etc. that touches on the topic of infertility paints the image of a woman who is always crying or angry or just crazy in general. If all you see is negative, I don't blame you for pegging me as a certain characteristic.
       Just as I was typing the above paragraph, I thought of two examples (without even really having to think too hard); on the television series, Once Upon A Time, Regina, the evil queen cannot have children but Snow White and Prince Charming have Emma and baby Neil. In the novel, What Alice Forgot, the infertile sister, Elizabeth, is depressed throughout over half of the book and she even attempts to kidnap a young child.

Okay, okay...some of what is shown in popular culture is true. We infertiles get sad (just like everyone else). We also occasionally get angry at our bodies for not functioning as they should. And at times, we feel a little less feminine and maybe even a little ashamed. But I can promise you that I am not evil or depressed and my life is NOT a constant longing for a baby.

• I do not lust after other women's pregnant stomachs. I do not want to bring them any harm or ill wishes. 
• I do not want to steal away other people's babies to raise as my own. 
• I am not weeping at every baby shower I attend, nor do I cry during pregnancy announcements. 
• I am not jealous of my friends and coworkers who have children. I do not "unfriend" people who post pictures of their happy families.

Another infertility character that the media shows is the woman who is "too career oriented". This woman is cold and unattached; she cannot have time for children or any meaningful personal relationship because she is married to her job. Her success in the business world has lead her to live the life of a spinster. I believe that stereotype is also incorrect. I am a small business owner. Yes, RagsReborn is very important to me but I also have friends & family. I am capable of caring and nurturing. If I were to get pregnant, I would gladly take on both raising a child and growing my small business.

So, no, I am not a bitter infertile. I am actually quite supportive of my childbearing friends; I have sewn baby shower and baby's first birthday items for each one of them. I am happy to join in conversations regarding my coworker's children. I love to hug and coo at small children just as much as the next person.

MYTH #2- Erica doesn't know what love is.
If I could get a quarter for every time I heard the phrase "I didn't know what love was until I had a child" I would be FILTHY RICH. Why do people feel the need to tell me that? I honestly do not even understand what that phrase even means. If it was true that you could not grasp the concept of love until you conceived a child, does that mean that you never felt the love of your parents as you were growing up? Did you never experience the thrill of young love as a teenager? Did you not love your husband or wife until the day they got pregnant? This is absurd.

Speaking of absurd...when I confess that I cannot have children, most people assume that I live an empty life. They picture me driving home to a dark and undecorated house where I binge watch CSI: Miami and eat canned beans for dinner. For those of you who have thought that about me, please stop worrying... I live a very fulfilled life. My apartment is lively and decorated; I have found many hobbies that bring me joy (one of which is cooking, so no gross canned beans for me!) and I have two lovely dogs and a wonderful husband. I do not need children to fill my life with love and happiness; I have found other things that bring me just as much contentment.

Another thing that people question is what will happen to me in my old age without children. They assume that I will live the last decades of my life as an old curmudgeon with no one to care for me. That is also untrue. I am actively taking care of my health now so that I am able to prosper in my old age. I am also investing for my retirement. I plan on being fully independent in my later years so I do not become a burden on anyone.

MYTH #3- Erica wants children.
Sure there was a time when I wanted to be a mother and if I had a miracle pregnancy, I would fully embrace it. But the truth is that I do not want children. (!!!) My infertility journey started out as being childfree-not-by-choice but I have come to accept and embrace my now childfree life. There are many women and couples who are choosing to not bring children into the world. More and more adults are owning pets or becoming entrepreneurs or travelling the world. Even as this is happening around us, childfree discrimination still exists. I get strange looks when I openly discuss my infertility, other women do not invite me to their social gatherings because I am not part of the "mommy club," and I am expected to endure longer hours at work because I do not have a family to get home to. Lets all take a quick minute to become more aware of this discrimination so that we may all act differently next time we meet a happily childfree woman.

So there are my two cents for this year's Infertility Awareness Week topic. Thanks for listening (reading); it means the world to me! If you want some more reading, might I suggest these blogs (and this list, too, if you really want some more reading!)-

Life Without Baby (http://lifewithoutbaby.com/blog/) is written by several different women, all of which are all insightful and honest. They have a weekly "Whiney Wednesday" post that addresses some of the issues that I just wrote about.

Waiting for Baby Bird (https://waitingforbabybird.com/) is a faith based infertility blog. As a fair warning, let me tell you that it is written with an extremely Christian perspective. I am not religious but I have read several of Elisha's posts and found hope in them. I also appreciate the rawness in her writing.

I just made my annual donation. If you are wanting to donate to a charity, might I suggest Resolve?

RagsReborn's Spring Craft Show Schedule, pt.2 (April)

Here it is, guys, the April craft show line up everyone has been waiting for!! I am beyond excited that RagsReborn will be participating in each of these craft shows. I promise you that each and every one of these shows will be a good one. Guaranteed. (Three out of four of these are repeat shows that I have done before so I'm allowed to say stuff like promise and guarantee. LOL)
       Since my spring craft show season turned out so poorly in 2016, I decided to act a little smarter for spring 2017. Instead of signing up for any show I could find, I decided that I would only sell at repeat shows that had good traffic & sales previously and/or shows that came recommended by fellow vendors. Its the creme de la creme this year!

Friday April 14th, 2017 - Quarter Mania
5:30pm - 8:30pm (auction starts at 6:30pm)
Mustang Town Center, Grand Ballroom 1201 N. Mustang Rd., Mustang, OK 73064
https://www.facebook.com/events/436857180039275/
       I am starting off with my absolute favorite charity event. If you haven't attended a Quarter Mania event, I highly encourage it. It is so much fun! All you do is buy a paddle and then pay quarters to bid on the auction items. The vendors always go all out and donate some amazing stuff! All the vendors there are super friendly and the entire night is filled with energy & excitement. All of the money from paddles and vendor booth rent is going to be donated to Friends of the Mustang Animal Shelter and Mustang Parks & Recreation. That's right... one event aiding two charities. Doesn't get any better than that!

Saturday April 15th, 2017- Wanderlust Pop Up Shops
10am - 6pm
Wheeler Ferris Wheel 1701 S. Western Ave., Oklahoma City, OK 73019
https://www.facebook.com/events/1714056515572283/
       Wanderlust is my big (MAJOR!) show for the year. If you can only make it out to one show on my agenda, I would definitely choose this one. It is going to be a very large event with a huge variety of talented vendors. It'll be outdoors at the newly installed Oklahoma Ferris wheel. Yes, you read that correctly... outdoors... as in my first outdoor festival! Huge shout out to my friends Paul Bowman (Pens and Things by Paul) and Melida Bowman (Mama Dragon Studio) for letting me borrow a tent. Without them, I would not be participating in this show.
       This is a first time show (because the Ferris wheel wasn't here before) but it is being put on by a company that runs many other large and successful reoccurring craft shows. I am oh so very excited about being a part of this show. And, I have a surprise announcement... at this show only, I will be selling tote & messenger bags! I've been working diligently on these and spoiler alert...they are flippin' adorable!

Saturday April 22nd, 2017- 8th Annual Spring Craft Show
9am - 3pm
Western Oaks Christian Church 8100 NW 23rd., Oklahoma City, OK 73127

Saturday April 29th, 2017- The Handmade Show
9am - 4pm
The Crown Center 13300 S. Western Ave., Moore, OK 73170

https://www.facebook.com/events/1556590987702686/

I participated in the shows at Western Oaks Christian Church and The Crown Center last year. This will actually be my fourth time at The Handmade Show! The vendors and event organizers are like one big family. Although they are smaller shows, they are certainly worth visiting; if not for the vendors, then for the amazing lunch cooked by the church ladies and friendly atmosphere of the show. I will be in my same booth space as previous years, so when you come visit, you'll know where to find me! One last thing to mention, out of all the shows that I have participated in, these are two of my three favorite church shows to do. (The third one is only a Fall show, which makes me sad. Jan, if you're reading this, Triumph Family Worship needs a spring show, too!)
     

So there you have it. The next couple of weeks will be very busy for RagsReborn and I hope to see everyone out and about supporting not only myself, but all the other amazing local talent that is the Oklahoma crafters and small business scene. 

Erica and Wes go see stand up comedy.

I spared Wes from taking a selfie, so instead I took pictures of our drinks.

Last Friday, Wes & I went to watch the Make Me Laugh competition. I've never been to see live stand up comedy so I was pretty excited (and we all know how I like to try--and then blog about--new adventures). Although I have never been to a comedy club, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. I vividly remember Aisha Tyler's chapter about it in Self Inflicted Wounds and I just finished Jessi Kline's You'll Grow Out of It. Wes & I also watch The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon pretty religiously so I've seen tons of interviews where actors & comedians tell their stories about doing stand up at bars. I'm happy to report that my experience was similar to what I read/heard about. The bar was dim with a few spotlights, there was a bar stool on the "stage" with a single microphone, some comedians were funny and some were awkward but overall they were all pretty good.

The competition went like this; there were eight comedians who each got four minutes to tell their jokes. At the end of the first round, our judges deliberated (based on their expertise in comedy and audience laughter & applause) and then the top three got to tell more jokes for a second four-minute round. Finally, a winner was announced. Our MC Dan Frigolette started the show with his monologue. He was funny (mostly joked about dating and sex), seemed to enjoy his job and was friendly to all of the contestants...an all around good host for the evening.

Our MC is apparently famous enough to have his own business cards and social media following.

The contestants for the competition were a motley crew consisting of a transvestite, an older gentleman who told what seemed like jokes off of a Laffy Taffy wrapper, some gay comedians, a guy who had facial hair like Wolverine and a guy who had a full handlebar mustache. I'm sure none of them read my blog so I'm going to judge them and use their real names (unless I misheard the MC when he announced them... then the names will be what I think I heard. LOL)

We started with Amanda Carey (pictured above). She complained about the kids these days and how she's getting older. She then told us that she was a transvestite and her misadventures on dating websites. She was entertaining and moved onto the second round.

We then had Trey Wooster who lamented on being fat and single. He then told us what the difference was between real friends and Facebook friends, he had several examples and paused awkwardly between each one. We also heard from Bryan Gillian who knew a guy in school named Ted Hitler. He then randomly started talking about butt hole tattoos. Next was my favorite, CJ Lance. He said that he told his wife that he sometimes wished they had kids so he could incorporate their funny antics into his monologue. His wife flipped out and told him she was not ready for kids but he could always go to the park and observe other people's children...like a creepy pedophile. CJ moved onto round two and eventually tied for first place. He shook our hands and thanked us on our way out. Nice guy. That's him down there.

We also heard from Aaron Wilder, another really funny contestant. He looked and acted like Ross Mathews (he doesn't really in the picture below but you'd see the resemblance if you saw him in real life). His first monologue was about money and finances. He advanced to the second round and told about his attempts at weight loss. He also tied for first place.

The contestants rounding off the evening were Dr. K, who told us a bunch of one line zingers (probably memorized from a joke book ), Jeff C who told us some not-very-funny gay and fat jokes, and Jay Art, who did a Shaquille O'Neal impression. I didn't think he was that good but he wore a Mighty Ducks t-shirt which made up for his non-funniness. He advanced to the second around, which I found more funny than his first four minutes.

While the judges were deliberating after the first round, we were treated to a set by last year's winner, Andrew Frank. He was funny at first but then I felt like his monologue went on forever. He started to get weird and existential toward the end of it...and that's where he lost us. Although I didn't find all of the contestants' jokes to be humorous, my two favorite comedians tied for first so I had a good time overall. Before the show started, I was a little afraid that I wouldn't understand a lot of the jokes (I don't follow current events or pop culture/celebrities so oftentimes jokes go over my head) but I laughed quite a bit more than I expected. Wes enjoyed himself as well. I'm glad we spent our Friday night with the Make Me Laugh tour. If you're not easily offended by sex, gay or fat jokes, I would recommend a night of stand up as a fun date idea. 

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month.

I feel like it is my responsibility as a sufferer of severe endometriosis to spread awareness through my writing this month, but I am at a loss of what to blog about. I have a pretty good hunch that you either already know what endometriosis is (thanks to celebrities like Padma Lakshmi, Julianne Hough, Halsey and Lena Dunham) or you don't care what this strange-to-pronounce-disease is. Either way, I won't bore you with facts and medical research. (If you want to learn what endometriosis is, here are some helpful links https://www.buzzfeed.com/laraparker/things-women-with-endometriosis-want-you-to-know?utm_term=.yppNG5bpY#.ljDb3paBv and  http://www.endochallenge.com/2017) Instead, I will share my small victory story.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis a few years ago but never spoke up because there was no way to win. If I complained about it in public, it would just add to the assumption that women are cranky bitches during that time of the month and we are all just being overly dramatic. I kept quiet until my place of employment implemented a new sick time policy. It's a pretty lengthy policy and since I don't have our employee handbook with me at the moment, I will paraphrase.

Too many employees were calling in "sick" (but in reality, they were just playing hookie). Management and Human Resources wanted to get this under control so employees are not allowed to call in sick anymore. In order to use paid sick time, employees are now required to give 24-hour notice of any absence due to medical reasons. I don't know about you, but it is my belief that there is no reason for me to be at work when I am unfit and will not be a productive employee so I ignored this new sick time policy. I continued to skip a day of work when my cramps were too painful or I would go home early if my period was too heavy. I went undetected for a while but, eventually, I was summoned to my manager's office.

Luckily for me, and unlike a majority of the population, my manager actually understood that endometriosis is an actual medical disease!!! \(^_^)/ Hallelujah! She didn't accuse me of abusing my sick time privileges or tell me that painful periods are just another part of womanhood. She asked if I had ever considered applying for intermittent FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act).  I contacted both Human Resources and my OB-GYN doctor and after a swift process of paperwork, I am now approved for intermittent FMLA leave. Once a week each month, I am able to skip two to three days of work with no questions asked. While this does not cure my endometriosis or repair my reproductive system, I am still calling it a victory.

So here is the takeaway from this blog... endometriosis is a painful medical condition. Period. (no pun intended) Chronic abdominal pain is not normal. Heavy debilitating menstrual cycles are not normal. If you suspect that you are a sufferer of this disease, speak up and get whatever aid you need. I know that a majority of the people you talk to will not believe you, misdiagnose you and maybe even laugh at you but that is no reason to stay quiet. If I had spoken up to my manager sooner, I could have been on intermittent FMLA leave probably two to three years ago. To my fellow endo-sisters, if you continue to speak up, eventually, you will find that one doctor, that one friend, that one person who understands what you are going through and is willing to help. By the way, I am that one friend so if you want, please feel free to message or comment... we are all in this together!

RagsReborn's Spring Craft Show Schedule, pt.1 (March)

Well hello, my little craft show family... I haven't done a show since the indoor flea market at Sugar Creek Casino in January so I know you all have missed me. Right??  Speaking of the indoor flea market... here is my quick review-
       Hinton, OK isn't as bad of a drive as I thought it would be. The show was neither good nor bad. There was hardly any organization or rules to the event. Normally, I would think of this as a negative aspect, but I actually didn't mind it at this event.
       Vendors were free to come and go as they pleased and we were allowed to set up our booth however we wanted. The show started at 8am but I didn't get fully set up until about 8:45am... and I wasn't the worst, there were some vendors who didn't show up until 10am. One vendor moved her booth from where it was assigned to a completely different space so she could be near her friend. There were multiple ladies selling Scentsy. I stretched my extension cord from an empty booth to mine so I could charge my phone throughout the day. I started tearing down my booth around 3pm even though the event didn't end until 4pm. Chaos was everywhere. LOL
       There wasn't a great turn out of shoppers but almost all of the casino employees did come and browse on their break and lunch times. I (as well as several of the other vendors) was able to sell a handful of items. Due to the cheap booth rent fee and lax attitude of the event coordinators, I think it is a good show to try out if you are a new vendor. But if you have done shows for a while and have certain expectations, I would not recommend this show. Sad to say, but your expectations will NOT be met.

Anyway, time to talk about my two great upcoming shows in March. YIPPEE! \(^_^)/ I'm scaling back this year... trying to opt for quality over quantity. There are tons of spring craft shows and I decided these two would be the absolute best for RagsReborn.

Sunday March 5th, 2017- D.U.C.K. Week Junk Show
10:30am - 4pm
Piedmont High School 1055 Edmond Rd NW, Piedmont, OK 73078
https://www.facebook.com/events/1842812649334912/
       I participated in the D.U.C.K Week Junk Show last year and it was a blast. D.U.C.K week is a week long charity event put on by the Student Council at Piedmont High School. The goal is to raise money for a handful of pre-selected needy children (D.U.C.K is an acronym for "doing unselfish charities for kids.") The main fundraiser is the junk show held at the end of the week and all proceeds from vendor booth rent goes to the kids. It is a fun family event with a lot of children's activities and the entire town comes out to support it. There are going to be even more vendors this year than last year so there will be something for everyone. This is also the first show where I will be sharing a booth with another vendor. (Please pray for me! I'm an only child so sharing is not my forte. LOL)

Saturday March 25th, 2017- Craft & Market Bazaar
9am - 4pm
Newcastle Fair Barn 400 N Main Street, Newcastle, OK 73065
https://www.facebook.com/events/1714056515572283/
       This show in Newcastle is brand new for me but it came highly recommended. I actually know a couple of the jewelry vendors who will be there. The craft show has been running for several years now so I know that the event coordinators must be doing something right to keep it going. I am excited to try out some new locations, too. (which was one of my goals for 2017) I have never been to Newcastle but am very excited to introduce RagsReborn to a new part of the state. If you live out that direction, please come out and see me!

I will have more shows for April. I am still in the midst of finalizing the later half of my spring craft show schedule. Stay tuned for more!

Erica & Lacey Learn Paper Quilling

What is paper quilling, you ask? And why would Lacey and I go to a class to learn it?
       Paper quilling is an art form where you roll thin strips of paper into coils & scrolls and then position the rolled paper pieces to form patterns, shapes and designs. The art is traceable to the 15th century and became popular in the 18th century. It was a fashionable hobby for the young women at the time. Lacey & I are fashionable young women, so we naturally gravitated toward taking a class on the art form. (Note: I actually am neither young nor fashionable, but I do love art and trying new things. The classes were free at the Metropolitan Library and I also knew the teacher.)

The top right snowflake pendant is a piece that our teacher made.

At a craft show last November, my booth was next to an artist who sold beautiful pendants and ornaments ... made from paper!! I was blown away by the fact that everything in her booth was made from paper and that she handmade each piece. The artist was Toni Swayze. She has been making paper art for over a decade and is a member of both the North American Quilling Guild and the Quilling Guild based in the United Kingdom. We talked throughout the day and she informed me that she teaches for the Metropolitan Library System. We exchanged contact information and she promised to enroll me in her next class.

Fast forward a few months and Lacey & I find ourselves in Paper Quilling for Beginners. Toni started class with a brief history lesson and showed us some examples of her finished artwork. We then learned about our quilling tools. Our main tool was a metal pick with a slot across the head. The object was to slide the end of a strip of paper into the slot and coil the paper into a small tight spiral. We made several of these spirals for practice. Once we got the hang of it, we moved onto other rolled shapes. Toni provided us with a chart of basic shapes. We made tear drops, squares and hearts. After we finished making all the simple shapes, our "assignment" was to design a flower. The pattern was a little hard to follow so I made my own flowers. Since we mastered the basic techniques in the beginners class, Toni invited us back for her advanced class a week later.

Mine are the two flowers on the bottom left and Lacey's is the one to the right. She was much better a following the flower pattern.

There were five students in the beginners' class. Only three of us returned for the advanced class. The advanced class was certainly advanced. We were all given a new quilling chart with much more complicated patterns. I don't think my technique would have granted me access to the advanced class but I knew the teacher (yay for connections, right?) and Lacey was an expert quiller. The shapes we made in the advanced class used multiple strips of paper. My favorite were the beehive (below, purple) and royal flower (below, yellow). For these two shapes, we started by rolling a large tear drop shape. We then rolled another strip of paper into small spirals and then put the spiraled paper into the large tear drop.

Mine's on the left and Lacey's is on the right.

Since this was the advanced class, Toni assumed everyone was familiar with the techniques and we moved through the chart fairly quickly. I would have preferred a more thorough demonstration, as I needed some one-on-one assistance on a few of the shapes. Since it was a small class, we finished a little early and Toni was able to spend some time working at mine and Lacey's table toward the end of class. I really struggled with the Malaysian shape, which is a spiraled tear drop curled into another tear drop. Lacey's is the perfect blue one in the picture above. My first attempt was awful so Toni gave me more paper for a second attempt. Sadly, it did not turn out much better. LOL She also showed us examples of her work that incorporated the shapes we were learning. That woman makes some amazing flowers and butterflies!

I enjoyed paper quilling and I think it was fun to learn but I do not believe I will be adding it to my collection of hobbies. It proved to be a very involved and time consuming task. It took me forever to finish the simple projects we made in class (I can't imagine how long it takes for more complicated designs!) The advanced patterns demanded too much precision. After making a handful of coils and scrolls--and most of them oddly misshapen-- the task became less fun and more tedious. I just do not have enough patience for it. Which is why I am glad people like Toni go to craft shows... if I ever need a beautiful paper pendant, I know who to buy from!

Toni generously provided us each supplies and instructions for a project to complete at home. 

RagsReborn, Street Cats and My Furry Valentine

My first time making catnip toys and they turned out pretty darn good!

It's almost Valentine's Day. Does everyone have romantic plans for their sweethearts? I have Valentine's Day plans with cats... well, not really with cats but more for cats. RagsReborn is proud to be donating two cat themed baskets to a charity gala benefiting a local cat rescue shelter.

My best friend in elementary school (go Kaiser Kangaroos!!) was a girl named Jessica. We hung out a lot and I have many memories of our childhood. One thing that sticks out in all of those memories is that she was obsessed with cats. It was a love I could not understand because I was allergic to cats and couldn't grasp what the big deal was about them. We lost touch but Facebook brought us back together a few years ago. We finally met up for coffee in December to catch each other up on our lives. Turns out that she still has a fondness for felines. Jessica is now a part of the Street Cats, Inc. organization in Tulsa. Street Cats is a non-profit volunteer based organization that shelters cats who have been abandoned, lost or surrendered. All of the cats they take in are adoptable and the shelter keeps the cats until they find their fur-ever home. Street Cats also maintains a spay and neuter program to control the feral cat population. One of Jessica's main jobs at Street Cats is to plan, organize and execute the annual charity gala, My Furry Valentine. That's where RagsReborn comes in.

Jessica told me all about her organization and the gala over our coffee date. The highlight of the event is a silent auction of items donated by local businesses and artists. She wanted me to make her some catnip toys for her own cat, Beau, and was hoping I could make a few extra to donate to the silent auction. Of course I would!! And not only would I just make catnip toys, I also agreed to donate some pillows and a tote bag. I told her I am a big supporter of animal shelters & rescue programs and would absolutely love to help. (^_^) I want to be involved in anything local! Although, this isn't a craft show, per se, I dedicated all of my time from mid-January to present to sewing items for my gift baskets. I'm hoping my hard work pays off and I can generate some extra money for Street Cats, all while getting my name out there as a local Oklahoman small business.

Auction item #1- two catnip toys and a pillow.

My Furry Valentine is scheduled for Sunday February 12th, 2016. The event will be held at The Tulsa Historical Society in Tulsa, Oklahoma from 1:30pm - 4:30pm. More information on the event can be found here- http://www.streetcatstulsa.org/my-furry-valentine/. Tickets are still one sale! If you are in the area, I encourage you to go. I, unfortunately, will not be in attendance but Jessica agreed to represent RagsReborn on my behalf. I am honored to be a part of this event and hope my auction items get the highest bid!

Auction item #2- catnip toy, pillow and tote bag.