Last week was Infertility Awareness Week and the theme was Infertility Uncovered. I visited Resolve's website (the national infertility association) and read a bunch of articles, personal testimonies, and blogs but I didn't write a blog post of my own. I usually do but I didn't feel right doing so this year because I literally have nothing to contribute to the theme. Its tricky for me. As I dig deeper into "infertility", I realize more and more that, not having gone through it first-hand, I can't truly relate one hundred percent. Yes, it is true that I cannot conceive a baby on my own. But, I have not gone through the ups & downs of fertility treatment. I have not attempted to foster or adopt. I have not considered surrogacy or IVF. I want to empathize with my fellow sisters but I feel like a guest in the infertility club; sometimes welcome and sometimes not. I think for this year's theme, I am the unwelcome sort of guest. So I will stay silent on the #infertilityuncovered topic.
Even though I couldn't really participate in this year's Infertility Awareness Week, I want to leave some friendly reminders:
* One in eight couples is infertile. Please don't ask about a woman's family planning; you never know how hurtful that simple question of When are you going to have kids can be.
* We all are capable of making informed decisions about the size of our family. Please don't ask Why don't you have kids, yet or tell us You won't know what love is until you become a mother.
Just because I am not actively on an infertility path, I still believe in the importance of awareness. I will remain a cheerleader for advocacy and acceptance. I send out my best wishes for those couples on their infertility journey. I grieve for women's miscarriages and couples with unsuccessful results. I am the one in eight.
Lastly, a little bit more about myself and my personal journey... There is the tribe of women who are "childfree" (don't have children; never wanted to have children). There is another tribe of women who are "childless" (went through their infertility journey and ended up without any successful results). I am stuck in the middle... when I was in my late teens/early twenties, I decided that I didn't want to have children; then when I got married, we decided that life wouldn't be so bad with a kid or two but then we found out that I have advanced & extremely severe endometriosis. So then I reverted back to my original decision of not wanting children after all. I'm sort of childfree but I'm also kind of childless. There isn't really a tribe for me. So I continue to forge my own path.
