So some warnings before you start reading:
1. This is an emotional & personal blog. I've been posting three types of blogs: DIY crafts, recipes and travel adventures (which tend to perform the best among readers). I've only posted a handful of personal ones. My logic is that no one wants to be sad on a Monday night. Life is much more fun when you're making wedding centerpieces, right?
2. The picture above will be the only picture for this blog (sorry... I know the pictures are the most interesting part of my blogs). I didn't plan on writing about this until after the fact and I couldn't go back and take pictures afterward.
Over the past year and a half, Wes & I have ventured to Fredrick, OK three or possibly four times with my step father, Mike. It wasn't for travel and leisure. Mike's mother passed away unexpectedly about two years ago and she willed her house and all the possessions in it equally to her children. We went with Mike to move her furniture and help in cleaning up the house.
Where is Fredrick, you ask? It is a two and a half hour drive from Oklahoma City. The only major town on the way is Lawton. It is in south western Oklahoma and it is a small town. Like a really really small town. The only place they had to eat that was open on Saturdays was a Sonic. LOL Driving two and a half hours there and back really gives you a chance to think. I've never cleaned up a deceased stranger's house before. My mom and I had to clear out my dad's stuff after he passed. That was a difficult process but at least I knew my dad. My mom and I knew what was precious to him so we knew what to throw away, donate or keep. I have never met Ms. Christina Laurent. I didn't know what she wanted to give to her sons. I didn't know what she wouldn't mind being thrown out. I was just some stranger in her house sifting through her belongings and possibly discarding things that shouldn't be discarded.
The first trip was strictly business. Mike wanted to get a couch, some of his childhood belongings, a dining room table and the chairs that matched. We were in and out in an afternoon. "This won't be so bad," I thought, "Mike has grieved, now he's detached himself from the sentimentality of this trip and is just getting furniture. We're like a moving crew!" The last couple of trips we made didn't go as smoothly. Mike's brothers had come and taken what they wanted. There wasn't much left but there was still enough to make it hard. We couldn't just throw the stuff away... this was a woman's life. All the memories she made in that house. Her other children picked through everything and left the rejects. Since no one wanted the dresser or extra bed in the guest room, Mike took it. He gave a chest of drawers and vanity to me and Wes for when we get our house. I took a wicker trunk that I've been using as my "signature piece" in my craft show booth display.
The last trip to Fredrick was the most emotional. The three of us knew that we'd never see that house again. Mike had to finally let go of the house he spent every other weekend in taking care of his mother until she passed. At the beginning of this journey, my thought process was take what Mike wants & needs and nothing else. This wasn't my stuff to claim. After going a few times and seeing that none of Mike's brothers really wanted much, I started to realize that if we don't take this stuff home with us, it's going into the dumpster. Like I said before, this is a woman's life displayed throughout her possessions. Clearing out her house would be like clearing out all those memories and I couldn't just throw away a woman who would have been my grandmother if she had not passed.
Plus, Ms. Laurent wasn't a stranger anymore. After visiting her house and looking through her belongings, I learned that she loved figurines and giving to charity, especially the Human Society. She liked antique furniture and loved professional basketball. She kept almost all of her children's pictures of them growing up and she was a devout Catholic.
I think Mike felt the same way. He had always offered us anything we wanted, from knick-knacks to furniture. But on this last trip, he really wanted us to take any and everything. We got kitchen utensils, decorative candles and figurines, sewing supplies (YES!!!), towels, even garbage bags, paper towels and toilet paper. I think we did a swell job cleaning out the house. We rescued enough belongings to keep the memory of Mike's mother alive. We took things that we could use to build our home in the future. And most importantly to me, I got a lot of sewing hand-me-downs. (okay, just kidding, I'm not that shallow) Although I never met my grandmother-to-be, by using her thread & fabric, I feel like I did get a chance to meet her and craft with her. Christina Laurent seems like a lovely lady and I'm sure we would have been friends. I'm glad Wes & I have been able to help Mike succeed in this daunting task.
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